A eulogy is a tribute given to honour someone’s life, often delivered by a family member or close friend. Sometimes, more than one person will speak to share different parts of a person’s story.
Writing and delivering a eulogy is a huge honour. But it can also feel very overwhelming during an already emotional time.
This guide offers some tips on how to write and deliver a eulogy. There’s no single correct approach – every eulogy is as unique as the person it’s honouring. So, take these tips as a starting point and then don’t be afraid to make the process your own.
How do you write a eulogy? We know that getting started can be the hardest part.
Begin by gathering your thoughts and memories and writing down key moments and reflections in a notebook, or on your phone or laptop. Nothing needs to be polished at this stage – it’s simply about getting everything in one place so you can refine it later.
Consider having conversations with family and friends to collect their stories, too. You may like to look through photographs and letters together or take a walk through familiar places to help spark meaningful memories.
What stories did your loved one share about their childhood?
What were some of their happiest memories?
How did they like to spend their time?
What made them laugh?
What communities, clubs or groups were they part of?
What qualities or values stood out most about them?
A clear structure can make writing a eulogy feel more manageable. You don’t need to follow this exactly, but it can help organise your thoughts.
Where they were born and raised
Family connections, including parents, siblings, partner or children
Early memories or defining moments
Education, career or achievements
Passions, hobbies or interests
Contributions to their community
Favourite sayings or quirks
Stories that capture their personality
Places, music, books or films they loved
The qualities people admired in them
The roles they played in others’ lives
Small, everyday moments that show who they were
A short reflection, message of thanks, or farewell
What they meant to you and others
A eulogy doesn't need to be perfect. A warm, genuine story often resonates most with friends and family.
These tips can help you overcome writer’s block:
Write how you speak
Keep your language natural and conversational.
Keep it simple
Clear, heartfelt words are often the most powerful.
Edit gently
Once you’ve written a draft, read it back and trim anything that doesn’t sit quite right.
It’s natural to feel nervous or emotional about delivering a eulogy. These suggestions may help you feel more steady:
Practice reading the eulogy aloud beforehand
Take slow, deep breaths to stay calm
If you feel overwhelmed, pause and take your time – there’s no rush
Consider asking someone to stand next to you for moral support – and to hold your hand
Remember that your friends and family are there to support you
If you’re feeling unsure, remember this: your words don’t need to be perfect.
It takes courage to stand up and speak about someone you love. By sharing your memories, you’re helping others reflect and process their grief. People won’t be focused on how you speak, or judging your delivery in any way. They’ll be listening to the stories that made your loved one who they were.
If it feels too difficult to deliver the eulogy yourself, you may like to ask someone else to read it on your behalf. This is completely okay. There is no right or wrong way to honour your loved one, and it’s okay to choose what feels manageable to you.
If you need support, you don’t have to navigate this alone.
A celebrant or clergyperson can help guide you, whether that’s shaping your eulogy, suggesting a structure, or supporting you on the day. Your funeral director can also be a valuable sounding board. They can share eulogy examples, help you plan how the tribute fits within the service, and offer practical guidance around timing and delivery.
At Simplicity Funerals, our team supports families with these details every day. We can help you feel more prepared, connect you with the right people, or simply talk things through so you feel more confident.
Most eulogies are around 3 to 5 minutes long when spoken aloud. This is usually between 500 and 800 words.
That said, there’s flexibility. Some services include multiple shorter eulogies, while others may have one longer tribute. There are no strict rules – it depends on what feels right for your loved one and your family.
Your funeral director or celebrant can help guide timing and balance this with other parts of the service, such as readings or music.
Anyone close to the person who has passed away can give a eulogy. This is often a family member or friend, but it can also be shared between several people.
If no one feels comfortable speaking, a celebrant or clergy member can deliver a tribute on your behalf.
There’s no single way to approach this, but a good eulogy usually focuses on who the person was, rather than listing everything they did.
You might share:
Stories that reflect their personality
The roles they played in your life and others’ lives
The qualities people admired in them
Simple, personal reflections often feel the most meaningful.
It depends on the type of service, those attending, and any cultural or religious customs. In many cases, a eulogy can be informal and personal.
It’s also okay to include light humour, especially if it reflects your loved one’s personality. If they would have wanted a warm, vibrant celebration of their life, this can be a meaningful way to honour them.
Yes. Most people bring a printed copy of their eulogy and read from it on the day. This can help you stay focused, especially if you’re feeling emotional.
You don’t need to memorise your words. Taking your time and reading from a script is completely appropriate. Some people also choose to read from a phone or tablet, which can make it easier to adjust font size and spacing.
We’re here to guide you through the loss of a loved one and celebrate their life in a way that feels right. Call us anytime, day or night.
